Hello from a busy September. Over here at my house we have been living through a storm of stuffy noses, coughs and even a scooter fall at the skatepark that was more dramatic for me than for my little one who had the bloody, scarped up face.

Seeing your kids sick or hurt is truly the hardest… sometimes I wish I could just wrap them up in bubblewrap. Motherhood is truly the most emotionally intense experience in so many ways. I will either emerge from it mega resilient or completely destroyed haha… hoping for the first;)

Today I want to chat with you about your unique purpose, your mission in life, your calling, your personal direction, your life path.

As a coach, the question of what one is meant to do in this one precious life comes up a lot in my work.

And, it may come up at various chapters in life again and again because YES, what you are meant to DO in life can shift as who you are –or allowing yourself to BE– is evolving, deepening, and authenticating.

I believe that there are various iterations of YOU and I believe that when we can lean into that continuous exploration of self and what’s possible, your life can be deeply satisfying and interesting.

If you’re in a similar life stage as me, your kids have probably recently gone back to school and you’re transitioning into a more predictable routine.

For me personally, summer has been so joyful, but also long and yet, now that two of my kids are back in school (my third is starting next week), the house feels a little empty and I feel a little sad that the ease, spontaneity, and flexibility of summer is coming to a close.

As we’re in a transition phase –whether it’s back to school or simply the impending change of the season– I wanted to draw your attention to a habit that many of us fall into, especially in the busy, high-energy season of summer:

Today I want to share with you a powerful image if you want to free yourself from a mind that is racing with too many thoughts.

We all know what it feels to have a clouded, cluttered mind and I think it’s safe to say that we all hate that feeling 🙅‍♀️

Too many thoughts blaring in your brain rattling down into every cell of your body like a wave of stress and anxiety. No thanks.

It’s literally the opposite of living an intentional, joyful, present life.

For almost as long as I can remember, I have felt these urges to change my surroundings and thereby, shift energy.

When I was around 10 or 11 I would move furniture until deep into the night… pushing my bed to different end of the room, moving my desk to a new location at a different angle, change what was on the walls.

I would pull down my curtains and buy white sheets, dye them, paint interesting shapes on them and ta-da… I had new curtains.

And , honestly not much has changed ;)

This urge or desire to change my surroundings –to use the POWER OF SPACES to SHIFT THE ENERGY– has lasted my whole life.

Did you know that the first coaching program I ever designed when I started my coaching business twelve years ago was called “AUTHENTICALLY ALIVE!”?! I still love that name 😉

For me, authenticity has always held the key to a fulfilled life.

A life that returns to you as much (or more) as you put in, because it is built with a deep self-understanding at its core.

Here is what I have come to see:

Inauthenticity is the biggest energy drainer and one of the biggest misleaders in people’s lives.

When you are not clear on what is authentic to you, there is simply no way to either DISCOVER or ATTRACT what is meant for you…

Earlier this month I was lucky to spend a few days with my beloved aunt in Southern France.

During my childhood, my family along with my aunt and grandmother spent a few weeks in a small village there every summer. (I grew up in Germany, so it was a relatively easy drive.) Going back as an adult, bringing my husband and children, and having a few days with my aunt and cousin, felt very special: it was familiar to a younger version of me and new to who I am today.

What gets lost in a fast-paced, busy world?

Noticing.

We forget to notice… not just the tiny flowers on the sidewalk, the marvelous shapes of the clouds, the sweet chirps of birds, the smell of freshly cut grass, or the soft caresses of a gentle summer breeze… but also, the subtle changes in a loved ones face, the shift in tone, the quiet messages of posture and breathe and scent.

And if we don’t notice, then how can we be curious, care for each other, and genuinely ask “What’s up?"

We are in SPRING –finally!

At least here in Connecticut things are BLOOMING.

Seeing the flowers –the pinks, the yellows, the whites– makes my heart sing and my body soften.

For me, the onset of spring always feels like a deep relief. The dark, cold days are coming to an end. The layers of jackets and scarves and hats are coming off (slowly but still) and the shoulders can finally relax. Even breathing feels easier, doesn’t it?!

Bliss.

Have you noticed that as nature is shifting and changing and transforming, so are YOU:)

Sometimes this “re-emergence” after winter can feel heavenly and sometimes it can feel laborious and hard and blinding.

On Sunday, we had our first true spring day here in the Northeast and while we're back to a rainy winter situation today (sigh!), I couldn't help but notice how much gentleness and ease comes with the onset of a warmer season.

As I was sitting in the sunshine on Sunday –my eyes closed, birds chirping in the nearby trees– my whole body softened and I could feel so much of that wintery tension drip off of me. 

It made me think about how often in life –particularly when we are in a personal winter season and are struggling with something– we tend to…

Have you ever found yourself at a crossroads? A point in your life where you know something needs to change, but you cannot quite see the path forward? And as a result, you feel stuck, perhaps paralyzed, and doubtful.

Over the last 12 years, I have seen women at many crossroads and have found that there are, generally speaking, two kinds:

Yesterday, I had a “city day” (we live about an hour outside of NYC) and met up with two of my closest girlfriends.

 One friend was in town from California and we met when I first came to the US as an exchange student in high school. The other I met ten years ago and she still lives in the same apartment building my husband and I lived in when I gave birth to Felix, my oldest, almost 9 years ago. Both of these friendships carry so much depth, meaning, and joy because we have watched and accompanied each other through many life phases. 

Earlier today I found myself on the couch with my youngest. Her preschool called mid-morning letting me know that she was having a tummy ache, so I picked her up early.

I'm sharing this with you for two reasons:  

1. I know how many of you have been IN IT with all kinds of sicknesses this winter. My house is no exception. I know how stressful this is for many families. The unpredictability in your schedule, the hiccups in your availability, the canceled meetings, the hassle of rescheduling, the tension that often brings to many relationships… it's a lot!

2. When I first had kids, these constant hiccups in our schedule threw me through a hard loop…

The wellness world talks a lot of about INTUITION. 

I, myself have talked a lot about intuition, because what I see is that many people only rely on thinking it through and getting lost in contemplation while discarding their intuitive nudges. 

The reason, I believe, is that logic –as the result of lots of thought and contemplation– feels safer because it's more black and white and can often be justified by numbers, data, and evidence. It's masculine. It fits into the patriarchy.

However, logic cannot “see” everything. 

If I were to ask you what your values are, could you give me a clear, well thought-through answer? You know, values that are really authentically your own?

And if I asked you if you actively align your choices and decisions with those values, what would you share with me?

For me personally, living as closely as possible to my own values is one of my life goals.

In December I read a post about a New Year's tradition from Ireland: On the 31st just before midnight you open your back door to let the old year out. Then, right after midnight, you open the front door to let the new year in. 

I instantly loved this sweet tradition and while I didn't make it to midnight (haven't in years 😅) I did this little ritual in the morning of January 1st, figuring I could let go of a few sleepy hours of 2024.

When I opened the back door I pictured all the old energy, the stuffy thoughts, the stress and the overwhelm from 2023 floating out. I visualized my house clearing up and I had this beautiful calmness and serenity settle in my body.

I wanted to send you three quick notes before the holiday madness begins (if you celebrate Christmas) and you get ready to close out 2023 and start 2024: 

1. It's ok to put your differences aside during family gatherings.

Here is what I mean: Nobody's family is perfect and I know that holidays can be tricky for many people. Maybe you're anxious to encounter a particular sibling, parent, uncle or family friend? Maybe there is an unresolved conflict? Maybe there is tension with an in-law?

But, remember this:

I wanted to send you a quick note today because I am noticing how stressed and scattered so many people are feeling. 

Particularly the empaths amongst you are feeling drained by the constant demands of life… the combination of world events, news, social media, massive holiday to-do lists, end of year work schedules, kids school activities is A LOT.

I see you!

I was surprised to see that quite a few of you were curious about how I navigate my relationship with social media.

 The truth is that I am still very much figuring it out and I suspect that my relationship with social media will go through different seasons depending on my personal desires, world events, and the evolution of my work.

Here's what's true for me in this moment…

A couple weeks ago, I was chatting with another mom from my son's soccer team. She asked what I do and so I shared with her that my coaching business has evolved into a few different things over the last decade, but that I currently focus on helping women and couples rediscover their joy so that they can then use that joy as fuel to create lives they can thrive in.

She was quiet for a moment and then asked:

“Do you feel a lot of pressure to always be joyful yourself?”

A little while ago I said to my husband: “You know what I think creates so much dissatisfaction in people's lives?"

Patient and kind as he is, he said: “What?”

 “We do so many really important things to keep our lives going, to keep the foundation healthy and functioning, but we treat those things like they are annoying nuisances and so the completion of those tasks never gives us the satisfaction and sense of pride they should.”

My mother-in-law always says that if everything goes perfectly, you make no memories.  

Well… my husband and I just returned from a weekend away in Mexico City (our first trip away from the kids ever!) and we had the most incredible two days. And then, we got food poisoning 12 hours before we had to get on our flight back home. Suffice it to say, that we will never forget this trip 🤪

My point is this: there is no such thing as perfect and the relentless pursuit of it will exhaust you more than any temporary reward could uplift you. 

Instead, the quality of your life is a question of perspective and how you choose to build memories.

Every few days (sometimes daily depending on what season I am in), I start my day with pulling a card from a tarot or oracle deck. 

I've done this for years and I love this practice, because it ads an element of playfulness, depth, and inner aliveness to my life.

What I have found is that many of us crave depth and a close connection to ourselves… many of you “miss yourselves”… but, as you likely well know, our daily lives get so busy that we often stay on the surface, unsure how we can “drop in" and hear ourselves clearly.

If you follow me on instagram you know that we spent a large chunk of our summer in my husband's hometown in Sweden.

 It was there, during the quiet mornings, still tucked in under the covers with a chilly summer breeze making its way into the bedroom, seagulls chuckling outside, that I found my way back to my journal.

I used to journal a lot before having kids. Before time became scarce and my mornings busy.

My journal back then was a full on art project: filled with all my feelings and thoughts as well as drawings, poems and collages of images that spoke to me.

What you think is important in this moment, may be irrelevant for where you actually want to be.

Let me explain: 

We live in a society that is full of “calls to action” that sell us into over-doing, over-buying, over-eating, over-participating.

Let's be real: it's noisy out there and we are bombarded with messaging that wants us to believe that unless we participate, own and do all the things, we will fall behind, miss out, become unhealthy, age faster, aren't good enough parents… you get the picture.

Have you ever felt the desire to fit in?

I bet you have.

I bet that nearly everyone has because fitting in promises a human need: SAFETY.

 Personally, I know this desire very well. When I first moved to the US as an exchange student at sixteen, I deeply wanted to look, sound, and “pass” as American as much as possible. I swapped my knitted sweaters for hoodies, my Euro-jeans for low-rise sweatpants, and even practiced saying “like” randomly in the middle of my budding English language skills 😆… ohhh, how I wish I hadn't.