Are you always ON? Try the practice of YUTORI
If you’re in a similar life stage as me, your kids have probably recently gone back to school and you’re transitioning into a more predictable routine.
For me personally, summer has been so joyful, but also long and yet, now that two of my kids are back in school (my third is starting next week), the house feels a little empty and I feel a little sad that the ease, spontaneity, and flexibility of summer is coming to a close.
As we’re in a transition phase –whether it’s back to school or simply the impending change of the season– I wanted to draw your attention to a habit that many of us fall into, especially in the busy, high-energy season of summer:
The habit of always BEING ON.
The habit of filling up your schedule (and your family’s schedule) to the absolute max.
The habit of leaving no space for yourself to linger in quiet and follow whatever feels joyful in the moment.
The habit of being so busy DOING that simply BEING with yourself, your thoughts and feelings, your desires and dreams gets drowned out.
In all my years of coaching, the biggest challenges that women have shared with me include:
feeling overwhelmed, anxious and burnt out.
feeling unclear and confused about their path and how to go about realizing their desires.
feeling like they are never enough (in their relationships, their work, their role as a mother)
One of the key pieces of my work consist of helping women make SPACE for themselves so that they can actually FEEL, HEAR, and SEE themselves clearly.
From there, everything becomes so much easier.
Clarity and closeness to yourself are as invaluable as they are essential for a beautiful life.
If this resonates with you, I wanto to introduce you to a Japanese concept called YUTORI.
Yutori is the art of unhurried spaciousness.
Did you just get goose-bumps reading that? I did ;)
I mean, yes yes yes to unhurried spaciousness 🙏
What would it be like to give yourself permission (yes, you hold the reins!) to have some Yutori time every week?
How would your life change if you had these built in times where you get to do whatever you want without rushing?
What would happen if you had just a little bit of space in your schedule where there are no expectations of pressures of any kind?
Over the last weeks, my husband and I have embraced this concept and we now each get weekly Yutori of about 1-2 hours.
This is not a time for us to squeeze in a workout, go to the store or fix something around the house. These things are important but separate.
The point of Yutori for us is to gain time that is solely dedicated to balancing our nervous systems, to allow our inner curiosities to perk up, to do something creative or leisurely that over the years as working parents of three kids has fallen to the wayside.
Now, maybe some of your are scratching your heads wondering how there is possibly time, but hear me out:
For our family system, it is much healthier if for example, one evening per week, one of us parents puts down all three kids while the other parent gets some Yutori time.
In many ways, the state of one family member’s nervous system health impacts the rest of us .
The healthier, more balanced one family member gets, the healthier and more balanced the whole system gets.
The more inspired and energized one person gets, the more inspired and energized the whole family system feels.
One person’s win, is a win for everyone.
And since we both get weekly Yutori, we are both bringing in healthier, more inspired energy AND we have renewed gratitude for each other, which is wonderful for any relationship.
The way you incorporate Yutori might look different, so check in with what's possible for you. And remember, it doesn't have to be perfect. You do your best ❤️
Now, over to you:
Are you curious to try Yutori?
What does it take to create some time for Yutori in your particular life?
What are your hesitations or fears?
Note: it might be awkward or even uncomfortable at first to “come down” from always being ON and having a million things on your plate, but trust me, your nervous system, your stress levels and ultimately all your relationships (including the one with yourself) will thank you.
With love and encouragement,
Caroline
