Insights From Southern France: Women & Sensuality
Earlier this month I was lucky to spend a few days with my beloved aunt and cousin in Southern France.
During my childhood, my family along with my aunt and grandmother spent a few weeks in a small village there every summer. (I grew up in Germany, so it was a relatively easy drive.)
Going back as an adult with my husband and children felt very special: it was familiar to a younger version of me and yet new to who I am today.
In addition, my aunt is someone who carries a magical presence. I have vivid memories from when I was a little girl… watching her apply her makeup, adorn herself with beautiful fabrics, prepare a stunning meal, caring for her plants. It was mesmerizing… and still is!
My aunt’s uniqueness –in presentation as much as thought– has always deeply impressed and inspired me. We have an undeniable soul connection that gives us the gift of feeling deeply understood and seen by each other.
Do you have someone in your life who feels like this?
Who pulls out a different version of you or inspires you to shift your perspective?
Do you serve in that role for someone else?
Beyond spending time in my aunt’s magic, I also felt deeply inspired by the other women I observed in Southern France.
In the US, I often feel that the urge to hold on to youth feels like a desperate grasp. Young is beautiful and once youth fades, women are expected to tuck themselves and their aging faces and bodies away from the center stage –or at least into a black, one-piece bathing suite.
Let me tell you: This is NOT the case in Southern France and I LOVED it!
I am not saying that women there don’t want to look their best and “young” is probably a desired state all around the globe, but aging there doesn’t seem to be the killer of beauty, elegance or sensuality.
Being in Southern France sharpened my awareness for how aging for women feels very different in other parts of the world. And it made me realize that if society’s stance towards aging is rather negative and so much of our efforts are going into avoiding the unavoidable which is aging, then how can we live truly joyfully? How can our sensuality as women stay alive as we age when we are constantly told to fight the process?
Here is what I observed in Southern France:
⟶ Women of all ages in bright-colored bikinis enjoying warm sunshine on their bodies.
⟶ Women of all ages confidently dressed in garments that hugged their bodies and seemed to express their idea of beauty.
⟶ Women of all ages enjoying long lunches, a glass of wine and dessert.
One lunch in St. Tropez stood out particularly:
A few tables over was a woman –I'd guess she was in her late 50s or early 60s– with her two daughters. I spotted her when she walked in: Short, fitted, multi-colored crochet dress, dark hair framing her natural, softly wrinkled face, big earrings with more bracelets and anklets than most people own in an entire lifetime.
Looking at her felt like pure joy.
I imagined how much fun she must have had dressing, getting ready for her lunch date with her daughters, picking accessories that mirrored her unique taste out into the world.
I loved the boldness, pride, and confidence this woman exuded. Nobody was going to tuck her away and nobody expected her to, either.
I may be projecting here, but it felt like she was still the main character in the play of her own life.
It made me wonder why anyone would choose to live any differently.
I think the key difference is this: one way of life is about perfectionism (if you are young, thin, and pretty, go ahead and live boldly), the other is about uniqueness and finding interesting ways to express yourself no matter where you are in the timeline of your life.
The first is narrow and defined by the eyes of external observers, meaning you hand over your power to others and end up wearing only beige to avoid criticism. The latter is wide and defined by YOU, meaning you remain in your power and can add brightness, sensuality, and ideas grounded in freedom and joy to your existence.
Let’s cherish and celebrate uniqueness instead of perfectionism. This, it feels, is where your sensuality, your power, your joy can thrive!
If you resonate with this, then here are a few journal prompts for you:
How can you get on board –and out of resistance!– with where you are in your life, in your age, in whatever process you’re finding yourself in?
How can your life become an expression of your joy, your uniqueness, your taste?
What needs to shift, which blocks or limiting beliefs have to be removed, so that you can be free to simply be who you are and live fully?
Here is to you and to your uniqueness.
I, for one, cannot wait to see it :)
With love as always.
Caroline
