28 - Healing Resentment & Re-Building Connection In Your Relationship with Jordan Dann
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Description
“If you can deal with anger as it arises, none of its cousins - like resentment and contempt - will come in.” - Jordan Dann
In the last couple of years, I’ve seen an overwhelming amount of resentment building in many relationships around me. With the drastic changes that came about because of the pandemic, the dynamics and systems we were accustomed to have dramatically shifted and it’s caused a lot of strain on us.
Today, I’m talking to dynamic psychoanalyst Jordan Dann about how we can shift from resentment into healthy connections in our relationships. This was one of the most critical conversations I've had on the podcast, and it honored the complexity and nuances surrounding our most important relationships.
In this episode, Jordan and I discuss the importance of understanding your attachment story, how to set healthy boundaries (and the problem with boundaries becoming such a buzzword), building tolerance for conflict, why resentment develops between couples, the connection between anger and vulnerability, and more.
Let's pull joy in together!
ABOUT JORDAN DANN
Jordan Dann is a dynamic psychoanalyst, author, and speaker. Her training as a Gestalt therapist, Somatic Experiencing Practitioner, and Imago Relationship Therapist, as well as her many years coaching and directing actors, has fostered her desire to help people become more connected, self-aware, free, and expressive. As a former theatre professor she has taught at NYU, Stella Adler, Boston University, and Colorado Mountain College. As a program designer and experience architect she created the Story Swap program for the Aspen Institute, a program using storytelling and creative writing to build empathy and understanding between diverse populations. She is the author of "SOMATIC THERAPY for Healing Trauma" and the creator of the Relationship Transformation School. She is a nationally certified and NYS licensed psychoanalyst in private practice in New York City.
HIGHLIGHTS FROM THE EPISODE
How play and creativity have brought Jordan joy from childhood into adulthood
Why cultivating joy within yourself fuels joyful relationships with others
Jordan’s journey to her career as a dynamic psychoanalyst
Understanding Gestalt therapy and how it differs from other modalities
The connection between anger and vulnerability
How resentment is shaped by our internal narratives and beliefs
Interrogating the meaning we attach to initial injuries
How we are losing our tolerance for and skillfulness in conflict
Recognizing that boundaries are meant to support, not prohibit, connection
Fostering resilience in ourselves and our children
The need for self-intervention and how we can grow through discomfort
Common causes of resentment in couples
How to prevent resentment from festering by dealing with anger in a healthy way
Developing awareness and reconnecting with your partner
The role of joy in relationships
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