3 tips to start a family meditation practice
I have a blogpost prepared for you today by Tejal V Patel on "3 Tips To Start A Family Meditation Practice."
Tejal carefully prepared this post for you a few months back so that I could lean back during my maternity leave and still provide you with excellent resources.
However, it doesn't feel right to check in with you during this time and not address the major injustices and subsequent cultural upheaval that is happening in our world right now.
The past weeks have been extremely hard with the reality of racial injustices and white privilege that exist in our world emerging more than I have experienced, at least in my own lifetime.
As a white woman who grew up in Germany (and therefore also carries the -often unconscious- shame and cultural burden of the Second World War) and went to mostly white schools, where I was taught by mostly white professors in mostly white communities, I have felt such an array of feelings ranging from anger and sadness to feeling helpless, overwhelmed and guilty.
More personally, I have been moved to tears on numerous occasions looking at my own two white-as-can-be boys and baby girl running carelessly on the beach knowing -and I think, for the first time really GETTING- that so many mothers look at their own children with the exact same intensity of love while also holding the heaviness of knowing that they are at inherent, life-threatening risk simply because of the color of their skin.
I realized that while mothers of all colors share the IDENTITY of "mother," our EXPERIENCES of motherhood are vastly different.
Over the past weeks, I have started to dismantle my hesitations of talking about race and am working to move beyond my own discomfort and instead seek education and increase my awareness
I don't know where you are with all of this. I don't know if you are white or black or any color in between? I don't know what you are going through personally? How this is affecting you, your family, your loved ones? I don't know your fears, your hesitations, or the actions you are taking in this time already, but I want to encourage you to begin finding your voice in all of this (if, like me, you don't have one yet).
Just like all of my coaching advocates for women to have a strong, informed voice about their health, their desires in life, their dreams and their fears alike, I want to encourage you now, too: Begin to find your voice no matter how awkward it is at first, stop falling back into the privilege of silence, make mistakes and try again.
This is an issue too big and too substantial to remain quiet about.
I also believe that while we are entering a time where a drastic revisiting of our own conscious and unconscious biases is demanded from us along with real action taking, it is extremely important that we also take care of ourselves and make sure that we give ourselves the space and quiet to digest it all. That is the only way we will actually INTEGRATE any of it for the long run.
I hope that Tejal's post comes at a good time for you to discover new ways to rest and strengthen your and your family's minds.
Tejal V Patel is a former divorce attorney turned mindfulness, meditation and Ayurveda advocate for moms and kids and I am so excited to pick her brain today on how to establish a meditation practice with and for your kids.
Personally, I have found it so incredibly important to have a mindfulness practice in my own life and it has been amazing to pass some of these tools on to my boys.
I hope you enjoy Tejal’s article as much as I did.
3 tips to start a family meditation practice
By Tejal V Patel
Can kids who have short attention spans, rarely sit still and have endless energy, *really* learn how to meditate?
You maybe surprised but the answer is yes. And in fact in my experience you can start building these skills in children as young as 3.
How do I know that to be true?
As a former divorce attorney turned certified meditation, mindfulness and Ayurveda expert for moms and kids after teaching hundreds of teachers and parents, teacher and children (including my own) how to build these skills into classrooms and homes what I know to be true is that #KidsCANMeditate.
WHY IS TEACHING MEDITATION TO KIDS IMPORTANT?
Studies show that 1 and 8 children are affected by mental health issues like depression, suicidal thoughts and stress. Our children come to this world as joyful beings. For them to be suffering with mental health issues in their youth is a problem we CAN NOT ignore or take lightly.
It’s time to realize our children’s mental health is equally important to their physical health, and meditation is one of the greatest tools we can give to our children to help them better manage their emotions, ease anxiety and learn how to stay focused in this digital distraction world.
Here’s the thing: just because we didn’t learn these skills as a child doesn’t meant that it isn’t important for our children to learn at a young age. The world our children are growing up in is starkly different than the world we grew up in.
The fast paced and social media crazed world is here to stay. With divorces, school shooting, bullying and absorbing second-hand stress from our own challenging and bullying lives these are just a few of the stressors children will face in their youth.
Meditation and mindfulness are the greatest tools and skills we can give our children to help them better manage their emotions, ease anxiety and learn how to stay focused in a highly distracted world.
And rest-assured, you don’t have to be certified meditation teach or an avid meditator to teach your kids. In fact you don’t even have to know how to meditate to teach your kids. I’m going to dish all about it in todays article.
3 Steps to Teach Children How to Meditate
Believe Your Child is Capable
I know what you’re thinking. How can children meditate when most adults struggle with being able to meditate? But just like we believe our children can learn the ABC’s, that they can learn that they brush their teeth everyday and they have to take a shower everyday there is no reason they are not capable of learning that we “brush our brain” everyday by taking a few moments to take a peaceful pause to rest our mind.
We have to believe in our child’s unlimited potential and capability to learn things despite their age. Guys if they can learn to use an iPhone they can need to learn how to use the most sophisticated piece of equipment they have- their mind and body.
Our child has the potential and capacity to learn meditation and in fact the ages between the ages of 2-8 is the perfect time to expose them to this by infusing the words into their vocabulary, by singing songs about it, by prioritizing “brushing their brain” even if it’s just for one minute everyday.
2. Be the Guide From The Side, Not The Sage From the Stage
But I don’t meditate or when I do I’m not good at it. How the heck can I teach my kids?
Here is the thing, I’ve designed my meditation for Kids book to be the EASIEST primer on meditation for kids and adults. It’s meant to be a family meditation book because when you teach meditation you learn.
Since many of us are new to this practice we have to learn the basics alongside our child. You don’t have to be a meditation guru or an expert to teach your kids you just have to have the willingness to try and learn alongside your child. So my motto let go of the expectation you have to be this know-it-all sage from the stage. All you need to be is a guide from the side practicing alongside your child and when you guide them you’ll feel the calming affects when you slow down your mind and practice mindful breathing.
3. Start with Building an Active Meditation Practice First
One of my biggest qualms with mainstream meditation is that it’s misleading.
Not because it is giving false information it’s because the information out there on the internet is incomplete.
When you think of meditation you think of being able to sit quietly for 20 minutes, eyes closed, sitting still, taking deep breaths and having a clear mind. Mindfulness meditation is certainly one form of meditation but it’s the equivalent of Crossfit for meditation.
Ask someone who has never worked out a day in their life and throw them in a Crossfit class with no prior training and they are going to fall flat on their face.
Passive meditation is a type of meditation we want to work towards achieve but we have to train our rather unfocused mind how to get there.
It’s harder to train our mind to focus on nothing than it is to train our mind to focus on one thing.
If you have ever told your child to pay attention or concentrate but never actually taught them, this will help them build focus. Focus is not an innate skill it’s something that needs to be taught.
The first step in teaching your kids and yourself meditation is doing active meditations. Active meditations give your mind a tangible anchor point to help focus on the present moment.
Different types of anchors are guided meditations, different breathing types, mindful yoga movements, affirmations or shaking. This trains your brain to slow down and focus on one thing.
(Chime in from Caroline:) : Here is a video example of Tejal doing an active meditation with her son. It’s so sweet and makes it feel doable, doesn’t it!?)
Depending on the age of your child and after they have had at least 6-8 months of active meditation practice then you can start to infuse a passive meditation into their routine by sitting one minute at a time. The goal is if we start with children by the age of 4 that by age 8 they will be able to sit for a passive meditation for the same number of minutes as their age. But we can’t just expect them to get there without building the proper meditation foundation.
How do you explain meditation to kids?
The importance of meditation can be explained to kids like this: “Just like we brush our teeth and take a bath to keep our body clean, meditation brushes our brain to keep our mind clean from feelings and thoughts that make us feel yucky inside. By finding a quiet, safe place to take a peaceful pause you can rest your mind, reset your mood and turn on your super powers anytime you want.”
So how do we start building active meditations into our child’s life?
I have exactly what you need!
Learn the 40 most important exercises, inspired by the greatest yogic teachings, that will help children and parents combat the most common problems they face on a daily basis—- distraction, anger, disappointment, jealousy, and low self-esteem.
If you’re new to meditation or you don’t know where to start when it comes to teaching your kids my Meditation for Kids Masterclass course is designed to be a supplement to the book that will teach you the 3 Step Roadmap on how to confidently build the right meditation practices with your children in the right order.
Learn more about the book and course here: www.MeditationforKidsBook.com
love,
Tejal
More about Tejal:
Tejal V Patel is a former divorce attorney turned mindfulness, meditation and Ayurveda advocate for moms and kids.
Named a “Well-being Warrior” in The Huffington Post, Tejal’s soulful wisdom reaches moms globally through her signature online courses (Meditation for Kids Masterclass, Mindful Kids Masterclass, Mindful Mama Experience, and 7 Day Stress Detox), inspiring Time-In Talks podcast, booming Instagram mama tribe, motivating Tejal.TV videos, powerful live events, and laser-sharp mindful parenting coaching.
Her fun and practical ways to infuse mindfulness and meditation every day makes her a go-to resource for modern moms seeking to raise calm, confident, and compassionate children and become the most present, patient and peaceful parent they can be.
It’s Tejal’s mission to empower parents on their journey to raise the first generation of mindful, meditating kids and the next generation of peace leaders.
Visit www.MeditationforKidsbook.com to purchase the book and purchase the Meditation for Kids Masterclass course which will teach you the steps to build meditation foundations into your kids life.
Get mindful parenting tips at TejalVPatel.com.
Connect on Instagram @tejalvpatel
Tune into her weekly Time-In Talks podcast on iTunes, in which she talks about the biggest problems modern moms (and kids) face and the spiritual solutions to solve them.
