It's all about perspective
Your perspective is YOUR POINT OF VIEW. In other words, you can CHOOSE from where you are looking.
This matters because as long as you have a choice, you have power.
In today’s Maternity Leave Spotlight, I am thrilled to introduce you to my friend and colleague Annie Nogg. Annie will share with you how her perspective has changed and evolved throughout the COVID pandemic and walk you through a 4 step process for how you can change and choose your perspective on any situation.
Let’s dive into examining your life and choosing perspectives that actually serve you (instead of perspectives that leave you pessimistic, powerless, and drained).
Enjoy this Spotlight!
xo
Caroline
It’s All About Perspective
by Annie Nogg
Whoever coined the phrase “perspective is everything” was really onto something. I mean REALLY onto something. I’ve never known this to be more true than living during a global pandemic.
Back in mid-March, when our daughter’s school was cancelled for 2 weeks to start- I had “a time” to put it lightly. I was reading the news obsessively which was problem number one. It led to several near-panic attacks in one week. Since the panic would hit me in the evening when my children were still awake, I’d excuse myself and go silently cry in the room off the kitchen so they wouldn’t see me. I think it’s safe to say my perspective at that time was “hooooooly shit- the world is ending.” It led to me seeking answers through over-consuming the news which led to my heart beating out of my chest and fearing the absolute worst.
Needless to say, this perspective didn’t serve me. I couldn’t show up in the way I wanted to as a parent or as a citizen of this world.
For the few weeks that followed, I had a starkly different experience. Maybe it was because each day was feeling like a week or maybe it was because my emotions had been on a never-ending rollercoaster, but- oddly enough- I was blissed out. I was realizing the preciousness of this potentially one and only life and was reveling in basic things such as having our health, being able to fill our refrigerator with food, getting time to slow way down and taking it back to the basics (playing board games, baking, starting & ending each day with family snuggles).
The volume of my gratitude was turned up to an 11 on a 10 notch knob and it felt amazing. My perspective at this time was “how lucky am I?!” It felt like a full-if-not-overflowing heart and eyes full of grateful tears.
Fast forward into week 4 of shelter in place. It was a Saturday morning and we were getting groceries delivered for the first time rather than exposing ourselves to this virus at the crowded grocery store. I didn’t think much of it until the young, face-masked woman came to our gate with our groceries in her hands.
When our eyes locked, the unfairness and inequality of it all sucker punched me in the chest.
The “I don’t have to go and she might.” The “what about the healthcare workers and post office workers and checkers at grocery stores?! What about them?!” The perspective of this was “This is completely messed up. Some people are getting by relatively unscathed while others are bearing the brunt of it. The people suffering the most of it are often people with less privilege & power and more pigment in their skin.” This was a perspective that I wasn’t sure what to do with.
I knew there was something in there to see, listen to and hold onto. I realized that- while this perspective didn’t make me feel buoyant or blissed out- it tapped my inner advocate on the shoulder and said “it’s time to step up- let’s get to work.” This perspective- while uncomfortable to have- pushed me to donate to more causes, sign more petitions and look into donating my time to make campaign calls.
While a walk in the roses is incredibly nice, sometimes it’s our uncomfortable instincts or perspectives that call us to action. I believe that as humans it’s helpful to be able to notice and proactively choose our perspectives.
This helps us separate our feelings from fact. It also helps us move forward empowered to act & react in a way that feels good. Imagine the ripple effect of that!
Let’s break it down into steps.
Step 1: Notice that the electricity-filled thought you’re thinking & feeling isn’t a fact- it’s a perspective.
Step 2: Ask yourself if this perspective is serving you.
Step 3: “Shop around” for a new one that WILL serve you.
Step 4: Try it on (as if you’re trying on a new pair of sunglasses and looking through those new lenses)!
Now let’s apply these steps to a few examples of how it might work in practice. To use the example of perspectives about the pandemic, here’s how it might work.
Step 1: Oh! I’m telling myself that the world is going to end. There is actually no evidence of this. This
is not a fact; it’s the way I’m thinking of it.
Step 2: This perspective is Definitely not serving me. It’s moving me to a full blown panic state and is
making me feel not only terrified but also helpless.
Step 3: Since I get to choose, I’d rather hold this perspective about the pandemic: “While there are
some very tragic pieces to it, this global pandemic is also offering us an opportunity to slow down,
reassess, and create a next normal that will be healthier for our global society & world.”
Step 4: From this perspective, I seek out spiritual podcasts, books, and conversations. I connect with
people who want to dream about what next normal we can create after given this chance to slow down
almost to a stop.
Now, let’s use a more every day example. As parents, we often have perspectives about our children that may not serve us. Imagine your toddler is acting out verbally and physically. She is screaming, throwing tantrums, biting & hitting.
Step 1: It’s not a fact that Maddie* is a bad child. Actually, she’s an incredible person with so many
strengths- one being her big, beautiful heart. When I begin to worry she’s a bad person, it’s usually
after she acts out and when I don’t have the resources I need (ex: a good night’s sleep) to cope with it.
Step 2: This perspective that she may be a bad person isn’t serving me and it’s most definitely not
serving her. When I tell myself this story, I approach her expecting her to act out. She feels that low
expectation from me and is meeting me where I am.
Step 3: I choose to hold this perspective about my daughter instead: “She is a great person. When she
acts out, it’s because she’s having needs that aren’t being met. It’s my job to help her meet those needs
and to teach her how to go about it.”
Step 4: From this perspective, I can get curious about what’s going on with her. Rather than jump to
disciplining her, I can get on her level, get curious about what she’s experiencing and support her with
love.
Now it’s time to practice! I look forward to hearing how it goes for you to identify, assess and proactively choose your perspectives on everything from this pandemic to your young child. I know from personal experience that this is not something we ever really master- it’s a practice and a process.
Our thoughts are more powerful than we realize. I believe that when we become more aware of what our thoughts are, we can change how things look and evolve.
If I can support you in this, please let me know!
Happy perspective-ing (not a word I know)!
Annie
About Annie:
Ever since she was a little girl, Annie knew (without having the exact language) that she wanted to work in the "people development field" in some way. This thread has been consistent throughout her career. After graduating from the University of Wisconsin-Madison with a degree in Human Development and Family Studies, she went on to teach English as a Foreign Language in Costa Rica. Following those adventures, she worked in educational and workforce development nonprofits in the Bay Area for 10+ years.
Since starting her own career and life coaching business in 2015, Annie has been doing the work she feels called to do. She supports curious, high-achieving adults in further aligning their work and personal lives with what is most important to them. Annie uses a challenging yet encouraging coaching style to help her clients find the answers they need, both now and in the future. Her outside-the-box tools help clients build lives that make them proud.
The proud mother-of-two is an adventurer with a well-worn backpack, who makes killer s’mores and enjoys a random range of hobbies from hip-hop dancing to drinking huge cups of tea in her pajamas.
Connect with Annie here:
