How to prioritize, stop the overwhelm and actually get things done

Today, I want to introduce you to Kelly Nolan, an attorney-turned-time-management strategist.

I don’t know about you, but managing my time has been crucial in order for me to do all (or let’s be honest, most!) of the things I want to do.

I first really thought about time management when I was getting my Masters in Counseling Psychology and had a ton of reading to do, papers to write, clients to see, supervisors to meet and still wanted to maintain my physical health and emotional well-being, not to mention my friendships and new relationship (with my now husband ;)).

It felt hard to fit it all in then, which is kind of funny to me now that I am a mother of three, wife, and business owner. Life now is so much fuller and busier than it was when I was in my late 20s, but I am glad that I was given the opportunity to learn about managing my own time, knowing my priorities, and setting boundaries slowly before I was tossed into motherhood and entrepreneurship.

From having talked to hundreds of busy women over the years -mothers or not- I know how overwhelmed many of you feel and how difficult it is –particularly in the age of COVID– to prioritize and find structure while pursuing a full, satisfying, and complete life.

That is why I am so excited to share Kelly Nolan with you today. Her advice and strategy is amazing and honestly, I might have to hire her myself once I return from maternity leave with baby #3 to learn how to make space for all the pieces in my life.

My favorite part is with what detail she walks you through each step. I hope you enjoy her post as much as I did. 

How to prioritize, stop the overwhelm and actually get things done

By Kelly Nolan

I’m not naturally organized at managing my time or to-do list. I’m not sure anyone actually is, but I am definitely not.

I used to wake up in the middle of the night, wide-eyed, remembering something I’d forgotten to do. At work, I’d wade through to-do lists, swamps of post-it notes, and racing mental to-dos, trying to keep it all straight. When I finally got time with friends or family, my focus on their stories would be interrupted by zinging worries about a work project.

To add insult to the constant stress, I felt weirdly ashamed about my disorganization. Everyone else seemed to have it together, and I just didn’t.

Finally, one day, I decided to stop beating myself up for not naturally knowing how to manage it all. I just accepted that my brain will never remember to do anything by itself.

And this shift was beautiful! It freed me up to look outside of myself for a solution.

And over time, I found it.

Before I dive into the strategy that helped me, let me first make something very clear that I wish I’d known sooner. If you know all too well what I’m talking about up there – about wide- eyed midnight panics and struggles to be present due to zinging thoughts of to-dos – know this:

Those are signs you need a system to help you get organized. They are NOT signs of a character flaw. 

There is nothing wrong with you if you don’t know how to naturally juggle your career/business, partner, kids, dog, meal planning, working out, laundry, running a house, quarterbacking the family’s social life, organizing extended family visits, managing childcare and after-school activities, and so, SO much more. That’s a crazy amount of things to manage. If you struggle to do it, you’re normal.

That said, you also don’t have to feel so overwhelmed.

There is another way.

One of the most powerful things you can do to help cut through the overwhelm and find clarity is:

Stop using a to-do list and put everything in your calendar. And before you stop reading, thinking, “I’ve tried that” or “that’d be too overwhelming,” hear me out.

Let me first explain why I’m anti-to-do list. And by “to-do list,” I also mean the other places you list out your to-dos – the post-it notes, the phone app notes, the task management tool you may use as a virtual to-do list, all of it.

First, when our tasks are scattered, we feel scattered. Because our tasks, activities and events are scattered, we have no clear view on what’s on our plate or how we’ll get it all done. This uncertainty causes a lot of our stress. You never know how you’ll get it all done, if you can get it all done, and whether it’s okay to take a break right now.

Second, on a to-do list, all tasks take up a short line. But some will take 5 minutes. Others, 5 days. Some require your best energy. Others can be done when you’re tired. Some require an office to be open when you make the call. Others can be done late on a Sunday night. But you don’t know any of that looking at a to-do list. Instead, every single time you look at the list to decide what to do next, you have to do all those mental gymnastics in your head before you even start.

Third, to-do lists lead to what I call “to-do list defeat.” You could have just knocked the day out of the park, but when you go to cross of the thing you just accomplished, all you see is the remaining 48 items you didn’t get done. Your elation quickly turns to defeat, even though there was NO WAY you’d get all those things done today.

Long story short, if you rely on a to-do list, you’re likely feeling scattered, experiencing uncertainty, spending a lot of mental energy figuring out what to do next, and feeling unnecessary to-do list defeat.

And there is another way. 

You’re likely already using Google Calendar to some degree. Let’s leverage it. My favorite feature: sub-calendars (Google calls them “Calendars,” but talking about calendars within your calendar confuses me, so I refer to them as “sub-calendars.”)

Create a sub-calendar for your tasks, and consider dividing it out between personal and work tasks if you run your business from your Google Calendar. (Side note: I recommend against using the native “Tasks” feature that comes with Google Calendar. It doesn’t let you block a window of time in your calendar, so you don’t get a clear understanding of how your day is going to run or how you’ll accomplish your projects.)

Then start blocking time for your tasks (e.g., 15 minutes for a phone call, 2 hours for a research project). By tying a task to a date, time and window of time, you can schedule it for when your energy is best, when the office is open, break a big task down into smaller steps, and decide when to work on it with time before the deadline.

Then, when that time rolls around, your phone alerts you to do it, letting you skip the mental gymnastics and devote your energy to the task itself.

Here’s why putting your tasks in your calendar is magical:

Putting your tasks in your calendar is a game-changer.

First, creating a task sub-calendar (or two) prevents the Hot Mess Calendar problem. You know – the one you were worried about when I said we’d put our to-do list in our calendar. You can click sub-calendars on and off. So, if you want a clear view of just your events for the day, click your task sub-calendar off, and you’re left with just your events. Want a full picture of what your day looks like with the tasks? Click them back on. Easy-peasy.

Second, you now have ONE PLACE to look for what to do next. No more scattered lists of things to consult before you even start a task. No more mental gymnastics of reconciling to-do lists with post-it notes with calendar events with the to-do list in your head to figure out what you have time/energy for. It’s all in one simple spot.

Third, by blocking the time you’ll need for each task in your calendar, you have to get realistic real fast about what you can get done in a day. And that’s a great thing! It’ll help you prioritize and set yourself up to feel accomplished at the end of the day – not defeated by an unrealistic to-do list.

Fourth, and probably my favorite benefit, it helps you see your white space, and that white space actually means free time! Once all your tasks are in your calendar, there are no other to- do lists to consult when you have a spare minute. Not only that, but your other tasks are slotted for other dates and times, so you don’t have to worry about them getting done – which means you don’t have to worry about doing them right now. You, therefore, know it’s okay to relax and really check out of work.

PLUS, you see that white space ahead of time, which lets you plan how you want to use it. You could leave it as total empty white space, fill the time with plans to read that book you’ve been meaning to read, or even plan to enjoy an evening with your partner in front of Netflix. Whatever fun looks like for you, you can proactively plan in your fun, which helps you protect that time for what’s important to you and truly enjoy it (versus, you know, frittering it away on Instagram).

In short, by making your time visual, bringing everything that requires your time together in one place, and leveraging technology, you’ll find clarity, accomplishment and time for yourself. 

The point is not to be more productive. It’s to feel calm and live a life that lights you up.

I want to leave you with a final thought.

The reason I love this method is not because it could allow me to squeeze in more productive time. My goal isn’t to “get more done in less time” or be a productive machine.

My goal to enjoy my life, feel calm about juggling all that’s on my plate, and feel confident I’m spending my time in a way that, overall, I enjoy and feel ownership of. And that’s what I want for you, too.

If that sounds appealing to you, and if you’d like help implementing this system in your life, I’d love to help. You can explore working with me here. And, if you just want to give this system a mini-whirl to see if it’s for you, feel free to grab my free guide that sets out three things you could calendar today to reduce your stress. 

I’m excited for you.

Life truly can feel more manageable, calm and enjoyable – and I’d love to help you get there.

Xo

K

More about Kelly:

Kelly Nolan is an attorney-turned-time-management strategist. She helps busy women go from overwhelmed to calm, confident, and in control of their time so they can live a life that lights them up. She works with women one-on-one and through her online courses. To learn more about working together, click here, and to download her free guide that sets out three things you could calendar today to reduce your stress, click here.