I looked at my engagement photos and the nostalgia hit me
I was cleaning up my office last night and came across some of my husband and my engagement pictures from a little over 6 years ago.
As I was looking at the photos, something deep in me stirred. I sat there inspecting each photograph, holding them in my hands like precious jewels.
Checking in with myself, I noticed how much I longed for the woman I saw in these photos.
I felt nostalgia wrap itself tight around my heart as I remembered our hundreds of bike-rides through Brooklyn, our late-night dinners at hip, candle-lit restaurants that served delicious rosemary focaccias and full-bodied cabernets, our long conversations on our hand-holding walks home that were weaving our souls into the strong, colorful fabric that is the foundation of our family today.
Underneath all of that, I noticed how much I really miss being someone’s only priority… even though and despite feeling such gratitude presently that my husband and I are giving ourselves so much space to prioritize our three small kids in this season of our family.
When I looked closer at myself in these photos, I also noticed how much I missed feeling young, free, and (like my friend said when I shared these feelings with her) perky…. oh, HOW MUCH I MISS FEELING PERKY!!
After a while of sitting with these feelings and letting myself go through the emotions of missing and longing for this time and who I was then, I began to ask myself:
Is it true that I could only FEEL young, free, and perky when I was in my 20s and early 30s, without kids, and living an urban lifestyle?
What would it look like to feel young, free, and perky as a mom of three, who lives in a suburb?
I felt another deep stirring in me and heard a quiet but giddy voice saying something like:
“YES! Those feelings aren’t reserved for any particular stage in your life. They are available to you now and always. Yes, they will look different in expression, but if you commit to them, actively invite them and make them your intention, they are there for you.”
To be honest with you, even this small insight felt PERKY :)
So here are some things I am thinking, meditating, and journaling on right now:
What does a young mindset look like to me? Where can I make adjustments? How can I live deeply nested in my curiosity?
What does feeling free mean today that I have three small children to care for who I want to show up for with my all? For instance, lately I have found a lot of freedom in my own creative pursuits like painting, drawing, creating spaces, and writing.
How can I invite the feeling of perky in my body and mind today? What is a perky mindset? How can I treat, decorate, and adorn my body with this intention in mind?
I am sharing this with you, because I know how much many of you miss a previous era of your lives. For those of you who are moms, you might resonate with what I shared today. Some of you might feel nostalgia to another season in your life or even just pre-Covid times.
What I want to invite you to do is to use your nostalgia to inform what shift you might want to make in your current life:
Feel into the nostalgia. Really feel it and ask it what it is actually longing for?
How did you FEEL in this particular season of your life that you miss and would like to feel again?
How can you actively invite these feelings you long for into your present life?
As always, I LOVE hearing from you, so if you’d like to share what you discover, please let me know.
And, if you also like feeling young, free, and perky and have figured out a way to bring these feelings into your more matured present, let me know. I love being inspired by you, too:)
I truly love connecting with you!
Love,
Caroline
