We're having a third baby + 2020 intentions and goals
Baby News!
I’m popping into your email today to share some news with you: We are expecting a baby girl in early May :)
We are thrilled and so excited (especially Felix, my 4-year old, who talks to my belly daily and announces the baby’s arrival every morning with hopeful eyes saying “Today is the best day ever. The baby is coming!” ❤️…. I am only 24 weeks so he has some patience to practice;)).
AND truthfully, I am also a little nervous about what three kids will mean.
The adjustment from 1-2 kiddos was a lot harder than I expected. I didn’t anticipate how different the paces of a newborn and a toddler would be and the often opposing energies that it would require from me. One second I was nursing peacefully, the other second I was chasing and climbing. I dealt with a lot of overwhelm and guilt for never being able to give it all to everyone equally every day… hello perfectionism, I know!!
That being said, I have learned a tremendous amount from mothering more than one child at a time, so I hope that this knowledge along with all the work I have done to release perfectionism and guilt in motherhood and be kinder and more patient with myself will help me in this next transition.
I am also looking forward to see what it will be like and feel like to be a mother to a daughter. While I was fully prepared for a third boy –I LOVE being a boy mom and really disliked the question from people asking if I was hoping for a girl next because of how protective it made me feel over Felix and Hendrix– I did do some holistic things to increase the chances for conceiving a female baby. I will write about this and also how my third pregnancy differs from my other two in another blogpost soon.
For now, I am focusing on my health –physical and emotional– and pouring all my love and energy into getting our family settled back on the East Coast after we left California in October. This latter step has not been easy, but I got some amazing tips from other moms on how to help the boys adjust to their new environment. You can check out this advice here.
2020 Intentions and Goals
Now, since it is the beginning of 2020, I also wanted to share with you my 3 step process for setting intentions and goals that will actually guide you to a more fulfilled life.
Over the years I have seen the tremendous difference it makes when we are clear about what we want, declare it to the world, and have some specific soul-aligned goals that will help us in consistently and consciously aligning our life.
I do this exercise (or something similar… it always evolves) myself as well as with my clients at the onset of each year, so it also a wonderful way to check in with yourself and watch your own progress over time.
Step 1: Choose a WORD for your year.
Usually this is a feeling or outcome you want to focus on. What do you really, really, really want this year that will make every aspect of your life better and more profoundly fulfilling to you? What feels juicy? Or, deeply comforting? Or, really desirable?
My word for this year is FLOW.
Life has felt choppy with our move and all the work leading up to it that I am now refocusing on getting into a rhythm, a routine, and an ease-filled way for us to follow life. I believe that being in flow is deeply healing, calming and grounding to the mind, body and soul and I know I have to get back into it.
Step 2: Make a clear intention for these 4 categories: Work, Love, Health & Play.
Intentions help us gain clarity and manifest amazing lives. Intentions are meant to give your soul a voice so I want to encourage you to speak from the heart and make an intention for each major category in your life (work, love, health, play) that feels like a real “YES!” to you.
For example, here are my intentions:
WORK:
I desire deep presence with each of my clients and to help them transform by seeing them in their fullest expression. I want to continue to work with women who feel aligned energetically. I am also calling in an amazing group of women for when I return from maternity leave. Lastly, my intention is to explore a new venture that I have been thinking about for a long time: offering couples coaching. My intention is to gain clarity this year on whether this is something I want to explore seriously.
LOVE:
Reconnect with my husband more deeply again. As I said, we have been so busy with the move, working full-time and having the boys out of school for 2 months (so also doing full-time childcare) that our closeness and the amount of attention and time we give to each other has taken a hit. My intention is to re-invite the admiration we have for each other, notice and appreciate each other more intentionally, and carve out time for just us.
HEALTH:
My focus is on having a super healthy pregnancy and postpartum period where I am in a space of true celebration and honorship of the mother archetype. For me this includes nutrient-rich food (inspired from my Well Mama course and my Well Mama Cookbook), gentle exercises, good sleep, clean products (my go-to for skincare is Beautycounter), communicating with my baby, admiring instead judging the changes in my body and having positive relationships.
PLAY:
I want to have more fun again instead of focusing so much on orchestrating our life with the move and the cross-country transition. I want to make a conscious effort to play and notice the joy in every day. I also want to make new friendships in our new town and have 1-2 new girlfriends who I adore.
Step 3: Set 3 specific goals that are in support of your intentions above and will help you realize what you want to manifest.
Goals are different from intentions in that they outline VERY SPECIFIC steps you want to take to achieve your greater intention (which are often more feeling oriented).
Goals should be written in the first person, in present tense (basically pretending like you are already achieving your goals), and should always be phrased affirmatively and positively (for ex. instead of saying “I don’t drive to work” you would say “I bike to work.”). Got it?!
Here are mine to give you a complete picture of what this exercise looks like:
WORK:
Create a fresh vision board that describes my work and WHO I work with in detail. (For a while my focus was on mothers, but I miss my non-mom clients, so I am expanding my focus again on women from all walks of life who want to deeply understand themselves and their desires and take positive action towards self-acceptance and change!)
Invite 3 couples to work with me in the fall at a reduced rate to find out if I can add real, true value to relationships.
Prepare my coaching practice, clients, and finances for a 4-5 months maternity leave by having conversations leading up to my leave, offering sub coaches for while I am gone, and running the numbers on my business to see where I can save while I am gone.
LOVE:
Find a great, trust-worthy babysitter by the end of January so my husband and I can go on a date every two weeks.
Stop at least once in the morning and once in the evening, really look at my husband and take a moment to appreciate him and the wonderful man, father, and husband he is.
Plan one (& I am a bit embarrassed to admit, FIRST) night away from the kids at a nice cottage or hotel in the Northeast.
HEALTH:
Focus every day on drinking plenty of filtered water and getting lots of greens, veggies, healthy fats, high quality protein, and complex carbs on my plate, followed by a piece of two of chocolate. In the two weeks leading up to my birth, my focus is on meal-prepping so that when I come home from the hospital and wake up in the middle of the night ravenous from nursing, I have quality go-to’s.
Check in with myself in the morning by placing my hands on my lower belly and asking my body what movement it needs that day. Then follow its messages.
Focus on my breathing. I notice that when I get stressed, my breathe becomes shallow. I have 3 daily reminders on my phone to help me remember to take a deep breathe and check in with myself.
PLAY:
Soak in and explore our new neighborhood and town by choosing one new activity, area of the beach, or restaurant twice per month that is child-friendly.
Explore the principles of feng-shui more deeply. Once we find a house, I take great care to organize, position and decorate everything so energy can move freely and effortlessly through our home. I only choose colors I love and objects that bring me joy. I also create an altar with new candles, crystals, and other beautiful things that will allow and encourage me to get back into a weekly ritual of doing work with my guidance cards (this is my favorite set) and enlighten my spiritual practice.
Make a conscious effort and have the courage at least once a week to strike up conversations with women who have good, positive, warm energy who could become my new friends.
Alright, I hope this all makes sense to you and that by showing you how I approach New Year’s intentions and goals, you feel inspired to make your own as well. Remember, follow your intuition. There is no right or wrong. You are allowed to want what you want!
Love,
Caroline
