What does it mean to "FULLY PARTICIPATE" in your life?
As I was organizing my thoughts for this email to you, my 8-year old son popped up next to me to snuggle. He asked me what I was doing and I told him that I was thinking about what it meant to fully participate in my life.
He got quiet and I could tell by his facial expression that he was taking in that question for himself. So I pulled him close and asked him what he thought “fully participating” in his life meant.
After a minute or so he said: “You try to make your life as good as you can. You don’t stay hidden, but you stand out.”
Honestly, I teared up a little as my heart swelled with love, admiration and pride for my little guy.
I couldn't have said it any better… in fact, my adult brain wouldn't have been able to say it as succinctly and clearly as him… or maybe (probably?) I would have made it more complex than it needed to be.
I pulled him close, hugged him tight, and thanked him for his beautiful reply… a true gift.
Later on I took what my son said and asked myself what does it means to make your life as good as you can and to stand out instead of hide?
Here are the 3 sets of questions I formulated to help you (& me :)) take tangible steps so that we can become better at fully participating in the lives that are right in front of us:
1. Get clear on your desires. How do you want to feel in your life? What do you want to experience? How do you want to add value? What do you want to be a part of? Who do you desire to be?
Gaining clarity and having a clear understanding of what we want (or secretly wish for) is always the first step in my work as a coach. Unless we are clear on what we desire, we wander in the dark.
2. Step beyond your blocks. What blocks do you need to release so you can have the confidence to make bold choices? Where are you hiding? In what situations or when faced with what (or who) do you shrink? What are you waiting for to change so that you can fully participate in your life?
Oftentimes my clients tell me that they don't know why they keep getting stuck or why they cannot get what they want. The answer is that they have (an often unconscious) block… commonly a fear, a generational pattern, or a values conflict that is preventing them from actually going for what they want. These blocks need to be addressed in a gentle way and released so you can create the space for what you actually want.
3. Be present. Your full participation requires you to be in the here and now –awake and present. What pulls you out of the present? What makes it harder for you to enjoy what's in front of you? How are you wasting precious time? Where do you need boundaries to protect your ability to be fully present?
In a world filled with distractions, shiny objects, and tempting dopamine hits delivered straight to your home via social media 24/7, it is becoming harder and harder and yet more important than ever to know how to be present.
To be honest with you, I worry about this part –our societal addiction to our phones, how easy it is to overshadow our more difficult feelings with a quick new purchase, the fast pace of our lives.
Being present is the only way to slow down time, to thoroughly feel your feelings, to connect with others, to see all the beauty around you, to be healthy and happy, to really know yourself.
So, First name, here is to a life of full participation, of fulfilled desires, of presence, of beauty and peace and joy. Here is to you living your absolutely best life 💗
If you resonate with this email and want to explore your desires and your blocks more deeply and create a fulfilling life either for yourself or for your relationship, I am accepting new clients in August and September for 1:1 Coaching and Couples Couching. I'd love to hear from you.
With love always.
Caroline
PS: Here is a picture of my oldest and me from our current trip in Sweden… dipped into the golden evening sun ☀️
